How to Write the Best Maid of Honour Speech
So we’ve all been there, or expect to be there at some point in our lives: being a Bridesmaid, moreover being a Maid of Honour. This is a tricky place to be, although such an honour, it feels like a lot of pressure at times. Especially considering you’ve got to get all dolled up, buy a dress, get hair and makeup done, shoes and accessories and, be super ON all day. And then at the end – or middle – of a long day you’re supposed to make a beautiful personal funny speech. Something that keeps everyone’s attention, is personal but not too personal, both maybe teases but yet still shows the good side of our good friend The Bride.
Yep, that’s a lot of pressure! I know, I’ve either been there (my sister’s wedding!) or have coached many a Maids of Honour on their Maid of Honour speech. I wanted to put together this blog post to offer you something a little different and a different perspective on how to bring together the best Maid of Honour speech.
Yes, there are a lot of blog posts all over the Internet on how to write the best Maid of Honour speech, but I wanted to share my perspective and some notes on how to bring together a cohesive well-flowing speech.
Feature image source
Here are my top tips on how to write the best Maid of Honour speech
Start early, never leave this to the last minute.
Yes, this is the most obvious advice I could possibly give you, but for whatever reason, it gets ignored most of the time and you’re left being super stressed because you didn’t think this through.
As the wedding gets closer emotions get higher, you likely get busier, and you just don’t have enough time to sit down and really write the speech. If you start early, even just with a preliminary draft, you’ll thank yourself. You’ll also be thankful that you at least got started. Every time you think about the speech you won’t have that dread thinking “I just got to get on it”.
Don’t think you’ll get it all done at once.
You’re going to sit down – probably for an hour – trying to write the speech and stump yourself. Most Maids of Honour do. Just start with writing down some things. Start with an outline, even some point form notes of what you want to include.
An added tip: Start a Notepad on your phone and add to it as you think of anything you’d like to include or advice you get randomly (everyone will tell you how to write a good speech – write down the good stuff) along the way. It makes it much easier when you’re sitting down to write the speech to have these little go tos that you thought of when you’re with the bride having a good time, when you were just driving (the best ideas come during ideal time right?), or, anytime that pops up. Those are zero pressure moments and when you’re brain is relaxed things come to you much easier – trust me. If you’re not a natural writer it sure is hard to force yourself to come up with it when sitting in front of a blank computer screen.
Start with an outline.
Yes, I know I’ve already said this. But I’m not sure you were listing the first time. Yes an outline. Just an outline. If this speech is truly daunting to you sit down, set a timer (10 minutes), and just do an outline. Think of a few main things you’d like to cover. We suggest you pick a few topics that you feel would be really important and keep the flow of the speech.
A good outline for the best Maid of Honour speech:
- How you met (1-2 sentences)
- How long you’ve known each other (2-3 sentences)
- What you love and admire about your friend (1-2 paragraphs – a great spot for a supporting story)
- Advice you’ve gotten from her and want to give her (3-4 sentences – a great spot for a supporting story)
- How happy you are for them as a couple and what you love about them. Bonus points: for chatting about the good things they bring out in each other (1-2 paragraphs)
- Advice for her new husband; how to take care of her, love her, etc. This could be a fun time for a little poke at some of her habits or funny quirks. (1-2 paragraphs – a great spot for a supporting story)
- Wrap it up! Try and avoid the ultra cliche but a nice poem or “cheers” phrase that is personalized is a must
Space out working on the speech.
This might seem like a weird suggestion, but if you try and do it all at once it really will feel forced. Give yourself that time to write that first draft. And then walk away. Come back to it a month or two later. Work on it a little bit more. You’ll always have new things you want to add and tweaks you want to make.
Time yourself reading it in the right speech & cadence.
Yes, the dreaded practice. You need to practice the speech. Then you need to practice it again. Then you need to practice it again about 10 more times. The last thing you want is to go up there and ball-your-eyes-out because you’re nervous, emotional, and also you didn’t practice (good cadence is a real thing people!). Even if you do ball-your-eyes-out if you had practised you’d have a much easier time getting back on track.
If you practice your speech you’ll also find your flaws. When you write things down on paper it might seem fine, when you read them out loud it might seem really weird and not flow well.
You’re not gonna like the next thing I say but practice in front of the mirror. Get that speech in front of you, practice like you’re looking out into the audience, find your points where you should pause and, look at everybody, even write it in as cues to yourself. The more practice you have the easier it will be on the day.
This might sound really intense, but really it’s a half an hour here and there, not even if you space it out nicely. A good 15 minutes reading it out a couple of times goes a long way.
Don’t write a long speech – no one will thank you.
You might think the longer the speech the better; you’re really showing how much you love your friend. That’s not true. Your friend loves you either way, but you also need to consider the hundreds of wedding guests that are there and any other speeches they had to listen to. And a long speech doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a heartfelt speech. It just means you didn’t edit it.
Sorry for the harsh words (I’m not really sorry; girl you know you need to hear it) but I think you know if you’ve been to even one wedding, this is true.
Editing your speech to make it concise – yet warm and loving – is the best thing you can do in writing a speech you want people to remember. If you want the flow to feel balanced, and you want your point to get across. Adding more words doesn’t mean what you’re saying will be heard any clearer. It’s hard to give you an exact suggestion on how many pages it should be. But I would say no more than 6 double spaced pages.
If you’ve got the right flow and people can tell how the story is evolving and the speech is flowing and you’re not stalling out; 6 pages is a nice length. You’re going to cover your topics, it’s going to be obvious when you’re coming to an end and, you’re not gonna lose anybody.
Don’t pick stories just because it’s easy.
Stories can be the easiest thing to write a speech with, but don’t pick them just because they’re easy. Writing the best Maid of Honour speech doesn’t consist of 20 stories back-to-back. Maybe one or two stories mixed into the speech to prove a point but not just stories for story sake.
Be concise and be organized with your stories. And read your story to someone. If someone doesn’t understand it then it’s probably not the right story, or it needs to be written better. Stories are a bit of a time suck when it comes to your speech timing. That’s sort of what they’re about; stories are something fun that you can linger on and set the scene (usually best left for dinner parties).
Do you see it now? They could be really tricky to have in a speech. So you need to pick your stories well. Sometimes the story can work if it’s something that you can tell short and efficiently AND it gets people laughing (or cry if that’s what you’re after).
Wrap it up! Have an exit plan.
I’ve seen it SO many times where people are just; “That’s the end of my speech”. NO that’s you saying that’s the end of your speech. You didn’t really end it, you just slammed the door in all of our faces.
Write 1-2 paragraphs closing it out, concluding your speech. It doesn’t take much. You can read a poem, give the couple some last advice or well wishes and, then cheers them with a drink (everyone wants to drink at a wedding so you’ll be a crowd please at the very least for that!)
Ok, I know that was a lot to take in and you might be thinking “Well Amanda, you just gave me WAY more work then I thought I had!”. You’ll thank me in the end, I promise. And you’ll eliminate a lot of your stress if you follow this guide. Take it as me holding your hand through the speech writing process. Better yet, do this with some wine (or my fav; a bourbon cherry lemonade) to get the writing flow going.
Alright, shake it out, take a walk around the block but, know you have some work ahead of you. In the meantime take some serious notes from these two ladies (Tina Fey can do no wrong) and their amazing monologues at the 2015, 2014 and, 2013 Golden Globes. At the very least you’ll have a good laugh.
What are you thoughts on starting with “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m so-and-so”? I think people should never ever use this line! I would much rather hear “I’m Jenn, and I’m the the bride’s sister”, or more likely than not, the MC would have already intro’d who is coming to speak, so leave it out and jump right into your suggestions above! I’m certainly no pro, but I cringe a little each time I’m at a wedding and a speech starts that way 🙂
Sure! You can start the speech however you like. The way someone is introduced can change from wedding to wedding so there might not be a one size fits all. It’s up to the speech giver to listen to how they’re introduced and change their opening line as needed. Good luck with your speech!